Today is the 1st of February. Which is my birthday. Shit. Damn. Whether I like it or not I am now 15 years old. Which is argh. Currently I am having a lot of cases of flashbacks at almost every single thing. It rained today. Most of the time, I would not like it. But now I like it. What's happening? Of course. Who does not like the rain. These days with all the heavy rain I feel very happy. Don't know why. When I see that the sky is yellow, I get damn pissed off. I go nuts. Reminds me of not so nice days. However, come to think about it, I really wish I can go back to the 1990s. Yes, the wonderful 1990s! The only thing I can remember about the 1990's are good things. When I used to stay in 836. When I didn't need to go to school. Hahahahaha. Then comes the primary school days. Primary 1 and 2 are forever etched in my mind as very good times. P3 and P4 were ok. When I think about it, I want to fly back. P5-P6. Greatest primary school days. Then there is sec1 and sec2. Screw sec1. Did so badly. But then again the memories from sec1 cannot be forgotten. Sec 2, although just last year, seems like the distant past. Sec 3 now. Screw it! What the fuck is happening? I lose my temper more often! Is my case just like any other "teenager" out there? I refuse to call myself that name. Don't know why. Rather be called sec3 student or boy or xiao didi. Which may not always be appropriate but I prefer it that way. I lose my temper everytime something gets in my way of completing things. Especially studying. Screw everything which distracts me. Damn. In any case. I go nuts more often and I think my mind is in a little need of some help. Maybe. Anyway, the jump from sec 2 to sec 3 is definitely fucking huge. And with the fact that everything happens earlier, people don't have much time. Haha. Celebrated actual birthday alone today. Tomorrow only 1 person is coming to my house. Even then he may or may not come. In any case, its definitely different from last year. Completely different. But I already told myself last year that it was probably one of the last time I could enjoy my birthday properly. Because sec3 begins and hell begins and lasts until...end o levels. Soon enough, a levels comes along to kill you and the murderer NS comes and takes away your childhood. Then you become 20 years old at the end of it. That means. Adulthood? Fuck! No way man. No matter how the times change, I cannot change. Maybe I have to. But I avoid unnessary changes. Bad on psyche. A little disappointed that I didn't get back what I hoped to get back. Been harbouring it since around September 2006. Been one year and four months since I had it. Don't kill it. I am waiting. Ok people, my post today seems retarded. But nevermind. I am a little depressed as I don't know what to do. I do not feel like playing games. I do not feel like mugging. I do not feel like reading about communism. When this limbo state occurs, I listen to techno and blog crap. So actually, not much of what I said above makes much sense. You'll need to read between the lines! (I got 9/10 for English journal. On par with Ching. Good. Must continute that way.) Happy birthday to myself. Bye bye blog readers.