18 April, 2011

The best thing to do is just tune out of whatever is happening. I don't give a fuck because I know what is important. Just don't encroach into what is rightfully mine. Haha.

08 April, 2011

No doubt I've slipped into temporary depression. From Wikipedia, Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being.[1] It may include feelings of sadness, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, irritability, or restlessness. Depressed people may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable, or suffer cognitive impairments (difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions). They may contemplate or attempt suicide. Their weight may change dramatically. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may be present.[2] Depression can cause pervasive problems in an individual's life through its (often unconscious) changes to behaviour (e.g. a pygmalion effect of expecting poor social performance, and ultimately pushing people away). 80% of what is described in this applies now. You got to be fucking kidding me All that work, for nothing? As I recall all that I did, recall going to the interviews, recall doing the PI, EOM, InR, recall the weekly meetings to finish the WR... I am angry, what the fuck went wrong? Was it the OP? No, it cannot be. JUST WHAT IS IT? DAMN IT I WANT ANSWERS I WANT TO APPEAL BUT I'M TOLD NOT A SINGLE APPEAL HAS EVER BEEN SUCCESSFUL. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING ONE Get out of this quickly and move on BUT I NEED TO SHUT OUT ALL MEMORIES OF WHAT HAD BEEN DONE I CANNOT STAND IT I JUST WANT TO KILL WHATEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MYSELF? THE OP? WHAT THE FUCK?

04 April, 2011

Gave her a birthday present.. initially rejected but she did accept it in the end.. I have to be honest here, I may have given up for quite some time now, and while I can stop liking her in "that" way, there's always a soft spot. But moving on, really.

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